One section that really stood out to me was "Waking up early in the morning to run in the field.
The sun rising, the birds flying..
We did all this for our country."
The phrasing made it sound like even the sun rose and the birds flew on the country's behalf, as if the world shared the same intense patriotism the protagonist and his brother had. They needed that crazed devotion to fight and survive in a war lasting 8 years.
I just wish Diana had a little more development, maybe something to make her relate to the protagonist. Why was she showing up to the bar past 2 AM? Had she lost someone in the war? Did she gain something from the war? I realize that can be a tricky balancing act though, since part of the beauty of stories like this is that the protagonist tends to hold their cards close to their chest and leave out details.
Sheik13LoZ
Really enjoyed the wordplay here! Liked the poetic nature and how it flowed.
ZombieGhost
Thank you.