To anyone who workout, you can read this post to merge it either a little bit into yours or just read it for fun. I'm not a professional coach/trainer or studied in this. I did the things I wrote about it and will just share my few knowledge on this manner.

First, to anyone who started training. The most hardest part about training, is to start. And by starting, I really mean stopping the whole bullshit excuse "I will sleep on this one" or the famous. "I will wait until I feel I need to start it."

Training isn't about finding the right motivation to start. To get to it, you just need to give a fuck about your thoughs and just give it a try. No matter what the tiniest physical task you set on you first. As long you do it 3 times a week. IT'S A GOOD THING.

I started by walking for 15 minutes outside at morning and do a spring at the end. For 1 month. Then, once I felt like my cardio got enhanced. I did jumping jacks, push-ups and stretching to help healing the muscles after work out.

• It's all about rising the bar overtime. But only if it does help

Rising the bar is good, it gives your body and mind something more to endure and make you feel the thrilling effect of something new. But going to far or too fast with this mindset might give you some repercussions.

• Injuries are no joke.

It's also good to check your body status at anytime you feel something is off. Specially at the beginning, since muscle injuries can cause a big problem quickly. If one muscle feel stiff and not entirely responsive. Take a break and rest immediately if you went to hard on the last series or the effort after every workout.

• Quick rest when it matters.

I barely injured myself over these 2 constant years of pushing myself out of the sloth mode. It's still a hard task to keep things through, but also the most important part.

• give yourself a reward.

Like a treat as a food, fruits or a snack you really dig. But don't entirely avoid junk food too. Since the crave can push you to give up the training too. As far as I am in this workout mindset. I got sick of eating junk food and even hate to eat some gift people hand me now. But not everyone reach that point at the very start.

• It's all about habits.

We humans love to have favorite habits, specially if its food that give a instant reward like high sugar food, salty or fatty food. The problem is that it cause an addiction to the source of the problem. That's why it is hard to break this odd habit that cause your fat ass to grow to big. But fruits and veggies are great to replace with that one.

• Go gradually, but constantly.

Overtime, the body respond to the change of food habits. You might feel a weird aversion to eating some fruits. But once you mix it with the training, you feel your energy higher and your stamina doesn't loose down so fast like before. Plus, if you set a short level of training on yourself. It will remain constant and your brain will rethink about going back to that workout next time. Instead of going all out and thinking to yourself "Who do fuck cares? I'm so tired already."

• Over workouts are a trap, but challenges are a good thing.

Some might think going all out everytime will benefits you and strenght you up fast. It's not the case, overtime you will realize you are sabotaging your body for a stupid choice you will regret overnight. That's why setting a challenge in either the middle of the week or when you feel you can add it somewhere. Will motivate you after you succeed it. And that's why you need to think for this too.

• "If I don't succeed the challenge, it's alright. I'm training to make it eventually."

A challenge isn't a barrier that stop your progress, a challenge is like a hill to walk on that is realisable and logical to take time with it. Not like climbing the Mount Everest on day one. (Some people go in that road and never come back lol) But joke aside, you need to think that time, is the best bet to set on. Instead of making it quick and etc. Taking it slow is the most successful rate to go with.

• Taking time for your training is the truth way to train.

On any level, being constant and setting your training to the current acceptable is what's good to you. When I was able to climb a real mountain with 400 people, I was really ready for it before the day. Because I wanted to achieve this goal. After losing 60+ lbs. I was really happy about myself, but I didn't stopped there even after going back down that mountain or losing the extra weight.

It's why you need to set a goal that is higher than the short term ones. To me, I want to be athletic, not a body builder or steroided goof guy. But just in shape and having a full natural well fit body.

Maybe bigger biceps and abs will be the extra I want to reach after going athletic. But I am also making short and mid term achievement to fill the gaps in.

The human mind want to see results regardless of if the possibility ask to wait, so it's why you need to think about short term and middle term too. Can't reach this place or that weight to lift. Ok, I will set it to a lower but still challenging weight. OR a place that is hard to set foot on, but still manage to pass through.

Walking have it's own benefit too, since you work the whole body parts and if you pick the right place. You can also feel like you are in your own adventure in the world while training. There is countless sceneries I saw while going outside. Sky views that I was breathless to witness or nature showing me some great encounters.

Be your own hero, train your body to stay healthy and do not give up or go too hard on yourself. I say this with my heart full of kindness, but you have to rely on time to get there eventually.

Plus I think sometimes its good to just relax.

Have a good day everyone.

The Detective's Diary might be perhaps my real starting point in making stories. Everytime I re-read it from the beginning or in the middle. Make me felt like this rush of excitement I used to have after posting a new entry in it, which I kinda miss overtime.

But after taking breaks, re-reading those parts. I noticed a change in the narrative which I can't really tell yet that I liked it or how it evolved. And even if I feel there is few mistakes I wouldn't have changed it anyway.

I know there is too much information, no exact structure to follow through..

I know I'm deconstructing my own work now, but I can't really stop thinking about where I was in those moments. Writing a cop story might have been an escape phase for me. Since I was struggling with a criminal that stole us so much. And I wanted a solace of justice in my mind somewhere, feeling accomplishment or anything as a 'win'.

Something or anything that keep me happy even in these harsh times.

Funny enough, I don't have this anger to do anything like I did back than today. Since I won my case against my landlord and all that. It's just weird to think I manage to break my limit in that period of my life. Throwing all or nothing in it and just trying to make sense after.

I sorta miss this, yet I feel I cannot do that. It might give me a false idea of what I aim for, and cause me a degrading effect on my psyche or anything. Regression is something I read in psychology books, it's not fun to think about but I'm glad I did research that.

Etc, I feel this phase was necessary for me in a way. Managing my frustration and placing it permanently into a piece of story that is fiction. Having a hero that face people who do wrong and can do the right thing even at any cost.

John W. Colts is a great character to me, I wish I handled him better in his either backstory or future. But I'm not even sad with what I did so for. The only struggle I have with his story, is that he no more feels like a lone wolf with his people around. Which I am not ready yet to figure out their involvements.

It's been around 6 months... I still barely know what to do with Cass and Jim.

The dynamic in the discussions and all those small things that I don't think I really thing through. Ah, it might be time to give it a go again. But I don't want to make things seem blend or forced. God I am so hesitant to try this other side of story telling. Slice of life isn't my cup of tea.

But I included it to John for his sake of not feeling too much alone or die inside before I introduced them here. I am in this in between states. I want him to be alone, yet I don't want him to feel that alone.

And it's okay to not make everything perfect to be honest. I feel at this point, I will have no choice but to try whatever came in my head when its occurs to me. Plus I have a major side character I took time to craft in those 6 months. That need to be added in soon.

I should write the whole segment to myself, and then think what works and probably doesn't for me.

I'm tired to walk in limbo right now, I hope I make something that feels right for John and to end it in a way that is bringing answers or some feelings that is legitimate.

It's time for me to finish this one. I had to one day, maybe not today or in six months or etc. But I need to finish one of my story first to start with a real new one.

Can't give up that easy no more.

Hard.

Specially with its own eco-system and the whole aspect of who or what control anything.

Or if chaos or nature took over some part of it or not even..

Just saying. My brain is sweating heavily everytime I try to figure a new segment.

With my lovecraftian project, I wrote quite something.. And I'm trying to aim at both superficial aspects to it and to a more sincere and few fascinating points in the history of the world I'm building. What I'm trying to do, is to create flawed ideologies and a whole culture that isn't human-like.

And what I love about this, is that the creatures who are living there think we're the stranger life forms. Anyway, I have explained enough for now.

Also the unrelated game I'm making is mostly half baked.. Need to learn a few more things before it get good.

Overtime, I got so used to post info dumps on my channel and etc.

This is perhaps my greatest flaw, since I know mystery is more attractive than this.. Sluggish read or lack of keeping more to the attention and etc. I'm doing course control for few weeks, and I still have a need to just post anything about my projects.

But, I am learning to shut it up.

So instead of posting it, I write my secrets and plans and let it there. So if it really matters to me, I can re-read it when I'm happy to see what's cool or not. This is an important process for me, since I stopped going procrastination mode over a couple of weeks. I still didn't posted the best yet, since it's not done and ready.

But I think I managed enough of myself to become greater than I used to be. Anyway, I think it's good that I'm my own parent in a figurative or literal way actually.

I'm thankful to learn even after all I have been through. And I don't think I will stop that anytime soon. Yeah and I am grateful for everybody who was there for me, you guys are sending your optimisism over the years and it has its effect on me.

I thank everyone who mattered in this progression of mine and wish you make you best too!

[This post is mostly about the horror project]

One of the extremely problematic moments I am facing right now, of the bat.

Is that I have too good ideas, but it is a hell lot to program with it. The fact I love my plans but

going through the process is so fucking sluggish and painful to comprehend...

Ah, go figure. Maybe that's why I never finish anything that requires patience and commitment.

But I still continue with this one project somehow, and I can't thank people enough to believe in me. Regardless of the disappointment I must have gived on some of my followers or etc.

I think I will learn from this experience if I just keep going and not get either too cocky or even too far serious in the process. The main goal is to set the stage for me and to not give myself a couple of obstacles that will drastically end it all.

So I better have to take time on the little steps that matters instead of rushing and smashing my head on a wall by mistake. If I can speak figuratively, it is quite a ludicrous project with something I am not ready for.

But fuck it. I rather do it without the experience or etc than never accomplish anything. Even if I came up with just a semblance of what I aim for, I think it might be enough to start with that next time.

It's good to have any payoff instead of a major disappointment over nothing. Anyway, that and the weapons are awesome to imagine so far.

Story is half cooked, still have few hiccups with the narrative or the pacing. But I doubt I can focus much on this part yet. The gameplay must feel right first and the rest will make sense once one part of it works.

But I think the "deaths?" moment I'm making will be good to make both male and female protagonist(s) not entirely attractive. Since, lets say. Making an attractive man or woman will put people in a wrong foot.. Or I could just don't care about it and make them attractive.. Still need to take time to wonder if 'slightly ugly or highly attractive' have either a meaning to add them in.

Characters are also cool, few I didn't posted and I avoid categorically to explain anything about them beside the obvious. Will not tell why or where this 'world' is about or going to.. I made a couple of hot girls, but I need to make less of that now. I want to make variety and no bias in the horror and gore too. Everyone can dies and no holding back.

Since I think giving 'plot armor' on any character will feel cheap and obvious.

One horror franchise mindset I love, is the final destination curse. But I won't

make that a stable in my project, just a 'soft similarity' around the idea that

every characters can and will die in someways. Still want to add good endings

and the optimal ending were everyone is alive or most of them.. Will figure that

shit out if its possible though.

see ya.

My horror project is going fine. I know I had alot of other stuff going few weeks ago.

But this idea sticked with me, and I am really into it. Anything I was focused on won't be done for a while. And I promise I will return to ordinary projects after it's finished. But I'm too invested into this one.

My real life is going smooth, plus I am working on a side job that will help me more financially.

Like car washing and lawnmower man contracts.

Will not say a date or any huge details. Except the porn story I am going to make later on will still be posted one day. Just much later than I was going for, will make few side stories arc if I can do that or etc.

But the horror project is a thing I feel that it would be better to do now. Halloween is like in 4 months. Which will give me enough time to craft the concept and maybe do a prototype beforehand.

That's all folks.

I wrote 2 scripts in horror and to be honest the ideas are horrifying to rethink of it after a while.

But I'm not talented enough to draw all these stuff. And I don't think just making a book or etc

will flesh out the concepts I made.

Maybe a game would work, yet I feel its something I should not push on me and just wait to get the resources. Since it really feels like high pressure to start with nothing on these space horror content.

But reading what I made is really a big thing that I rarely seen in movies or it's usually barely touching the depth of what horror is. Anyway, I will keep it secret and not reveal anything yet.