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ZombieGhost
Writer, game dev & Artist.
Love cute animals.
IQ: Stupidly smart..
New Motto: Get shit done, talk about it later.
(Starting date of that motto: 3 October 2024)

Luc @ZombieGhost

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Canada

Joined on 11/21/22

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Another glass mate.

Posted by ZombieGhost - June 14th, 2024


It is late night, we freshly went back from war..


We go all in a bar, music playing hard. Voices coming from everywhere..


We are drinking the victory, and the loss of those who didn't make it home.

I am the guy sitting at the corner, with my own reasons.

Silent.. Not saying a damn word.


My friends wanted me to join in their group..


But I didn't feel to do such thing.

Didn't wanted to kill the mood of our

celebrations..


It happened too fast.. The war.

8 years in.


I remember me and my big brother enjoyed those time together.

Training, doing hundreds and hundreds of push-ups..

Waking up early in the morning to run in the field.

The sun rising, the birds flying..


We did all this for our country.


But when the moment we reached to the battlefield.

It was another story.. Something from a nightmare.


The enemy was using a machine gun and cut few of our comrads in half.

Body parts laying on the dirt.. Explosions.. Blood. Death..


My brother told me he wanted to get rid of that machine gun.

I said he shouldn't.. But he didn't cared much of my words..


Told me to cover him with some rocket and frag grenades.

And.. I did. I throwed a frag in the gunner direction.


Then while the man get out there to save his life, my brother run to it.

Take control of it and shoot the rest of the enemies..


Turning them into pieces, arms, legs falling aparts.

But when I noticed a sniper from the distance.

I tried to warn him..


Then the loud sharp gun shot hit my brother, and he felt down.

I run to his direction..


The troops follow me, but I stop to hold my brother in my arms.

He tell me. "I love you brother."


And I tell him. "Me too.. Me too.."


I will never forget what happened in the war..


My flashback stopped.


Almost everyone in the bar went home after 2 AM.

I was one of the only left here..


Barman ask me. "It's running late, want one more?"


I look at him and said. "Another glass mate."


At my words, a blonde woman enter the bar.

The barman bring my glass of brandy.


I drink it and glance at her.

She walk in and sit next to me.

I take a moment to not look at her.

And then check at her side.


She give me a glance and smirk.

I say hey, and we start talking a bit.

Her name was Diana.


We talk until the bar is closing, she ask me if I want to

go in her place.. I accepted.


20 years from now, we are still married and had 4 children.

I moved on from my past..


I am happy now.


-The End-


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Comments

Really enjoyed the wordplay here! Liked the poetic nature and how it flowed.

Thank you.

One section that really stood out to me was "Waking up early in the morning to run in the field.
The sun rising, the birds flying..
We did all this for our country."

The phrasing made it sound like even the sun rose and the birds flew on the country's behalf, as if the world shared the same intense patriotism the protagonist and his brother had. They needed that crazed devotion to fight and survive in a war lasting 8 years.

I just wish Diana had a little more development, maybe something to make her relate to the protagonist. Why was she showing up to the bar past 2 AM? Had she lost someone in the war? Did she gain something from the war? I realize that can be a tricky balancing act though, since part of the beauty of stories like this is that the protagonist tends to hold their cards close to their chest and leave out details.

Thank you, and I understand your point on Diana's part. I was kinda hesitant on if I should
add her backstory or if not.. I though maybe less is more? But yes, it feel a little rushed.