To put this in context, I am writing this to make sure one day I read this in the future and stop over-analysing.

Because I feel like overthinking is not healthy and since there is nothing really to stress about.

I can make sure to keep my goal in perspective. Even if life make me struggle.

I rather stay real and bite the dust when I lost and feel victorious want the efforts was well put together to reach that achievement.

Ever since I start drawing and writing stories. I felt like it was meant to be for me. With or without anyone to push me to go on. I know its hard to become well known for your accomplishments and so on.

And sometimes even the greatest writers and artists get shits in their lives.

I am no different.

Because that's the weight humans have to carrry along to be good in their choices.

Or sometimes some just lost faith in humanity over everything and just think they are the center of the universe.

Which I highly doubt my life will ever be in the history books and so on.

So is life.

We live, we do things and we die.

This is not a way to give up for me, but rather to remind myself that I have little time to live and do things.

That playing video games and doing shit time wasters is not the right way to use my life time.

I know I am not the perfect definition of an human being, and I sincerely don't give a fuck.

But I still got a life, and there is hundreds of choices I can make to be in much better position in my life.

Over the past, I drifted in the void of doing absolutely nothing to change. Got in trouble for making reckless decisions, and even skipped my education to be just a guy that live on paycheck to paycheck.

In many jobs that won't even recognize me, but just count me as a number. That is 99% possible replaceable.

What I want, in my life as guy who have projects going and who try to make them real.

Is to at least make something that I am proud of. That if I ever get the chance to be a true father, that my kids see what I did in my works.

Not just some random shit that doesn't make sense. But rather some stuff I worked over the last 10 or plus years.

Because what I show on my arts and writing. Is just the tip of the iceberg.

I got like thousands of ideas that never come to day.

Many that are made for everyone and not just for mature people and adults.

I just don't want to die thinking that I didn't succeed at doing something that I was born with.

Because I tried in the past to just do a job that give big money, but I was not happy about.

And seriously it will sucks if I don't make myself a true artist or author.

Plus I know I could have a fine way to make music too. I could be a composer if I put myself into that too as well.

I am just not rich and poorly equipped.

But I don't give a damn about that now.

All I care is that my efforts need to be accomplished.

I have to finish my stuff.

That's all I have to write about now.

I might be not professional and etc.

And might show some vulnerability.

But at least I am real and not trying to look like someone who think who know it all.

I accept myself that way.

That's all my wisdom I can share

for the present time.

I hope I'll do what I always dreamed about for so long. Which is to make a full lenght animation movie like The Iron Giant, Batman The Mask of Phantasm and many more movies of those kind just like back in the 90s.

I am so sick to pretend to be an average joe who do nothing for his sake.

All I need is to push myself to keep moving forward, and I have to stop laying on the ground and complain about every little mistakes that have no value over this dream.

I have enough of just carrying my ego and regrets.

Alright, thanks anyone.

Bye.