To think what I could make for this month.

I drawed few stupid drawings for the laugh.

Sorry if some people hates it.

It's newgrounds. So, better take the leap.

Anyway, I'm done with brainstorming ideas on my free time.

I think I should like post without saying anything.

Maybe I will blog again when I feel like it.

Started to look at old limited games that broke through the 80s and 90s.

I know there is more behind like in the 70s or maybe older than that.

But I ain't that interested to look for like what.. Hum.. Atari and ping pong.

You get the idea, anyways.

I'm trying to observe what worked in those eras. From all consoles and what I am

very interested is which engine that has those features and can work on PC.

Mostly Playstation 1 has the sauce to feel like a good point to begin there,

so I can like transfigurate those old concepts and feels of old gaming time.

And create a PS1 spiritual successor game of anything.

But maybe making it M rated or even A rated.

I dunno, the concept of making something either

horrifying or sexual in a PS1 format seems logical

to attract a niche fan base.

Working in C or C++ to the most part seem the right thing to do.

I had no experience in those stuff like I said before.

But I will try to read the basic, and also re-learn maths.

With no lines to write on it, but now I can draw and write anything that pops in my brain.

So far I have two ideas that are ambitious but I have no money for that kind of stuff.

What I'm doing is just writing anything that seems good until I can find one thing that

is doable in my own limits. I'm reading about few stuff in programming in java and C+

It's readable but I'm bad with maths sadly.

I need to train in that aspect, anyway.

Just posting my own progress in real life I guess.

It's so fucking slow.. But it's going great.

Just want to say thank you to @Tomfulp and his crew for all the years this website got through.

30 years is a very long time to make a website still relevant and so good too.

Tom making newgrounds outlive most flash games websites is an huge feat too.

I love the fact the creator of this website is a true human being, who care about his craft and

the people who use it for making art, movies, animations, music, stories and so on.

I love the rating system, I think it's the right way to manage the whole stick.

Making the site so accessable for everyone and being so open for experimenting

on all your craft.

This is one of the pillars of internet. At least for me, freedom and creativity is important to cultivate

and to be kept alive.

Thank you TomFulp and every creators on Newgrounds!

When I mean by A-M rating, is that its include sex but also mature subjects.

Like gore, blood, violence, crimes and other heavy contextual stuff like drugs etc.

Not just your dumb typical stupid sex game or a pointless horror jumpscare.

Recently I looked at the whole market in the video game industry and there

is such a mediocre outlook on what is possible..

Like I know adults games are seen as a fucking joke to the industry

or a niche thing. But I know the witcher 3 did a bit more than just

cheap hot scenes. And the gore in it isn't just for show and all that.

That's why mature content is something more vibrant if done right.

I want to see games that has the option to fuck the hot princess you just

save. But not making it a priority. But 'your priority' if you care about it.

To me, adult games seems not whole, and the mature 17+ seems close to

be full of things. But it is watered down the line.

The industry is dumb, I mean those who manipulate things and the whole aspect

of commercial ideas and knock offs.

I think we need something else, something more than just the redundant song and dance..

AAA games with a plot but no titties. Or titties with no plot.

Or. Maybe it's just me who really care about any good changes.

Anyway, I am a guy who thinks people aren't that dumb and we all deserve what we fight for.

You know, I usually loved Call of Duty back in the 2010s era.

Black Ops 1 was the peak moment CoD became really good in making some messy stories..

And fell off after like BO3.

Also greed took a long time to dry the ressources of these AAA companies.

And maybe there is an inside job in those branches who just want to see

the whole compny crumble to ruin the franchise and the industry.

I dunno, I'm just saying what I feel that seems wrong out there.

Can't really do much than that, but anyway. I feel like A-M rating

would be cool to add somewhere.

Like imagine a full sexual murder mystery game with the protagonist

who can fuck their way out of the investigation. But there is obvious

consequences.

Would be funny to play that, just for the plot or for the silly fun in it.

Alright, that's what I got to say in here.

See ya.

So, I write down all the pages available in my notebook.

Many ideas were from my now erased files. But I also

writed more stuff that is very good. But hard to figure it out.

Then I am interested to just not post anything for like few weeks

and just learning contrast in characters. How a personality

works in a story and what it means.

Like really see beyond just what meets the eyes and go further.

If I keep posting like I did last year, I never will jump start my career.

I need to restructure my ideals, and the way I work overall.

I will also post like the requests I got from few friends and etc.

No worries.

It's just I feel I need to grow as a person and as a.. Well what am I right now?

I can write, draw, almost create games.. Shit, I don't know what kind of title I got for myself.

Well, guess.. I'll go with visionary. Since it's kinda what I am.

Anyway, so I plan to upgrade myself a little bit and so far I become more persistent

and consistent in my projects. This month I focused more on giving things to others.

I didn't do as much as I wished for, but I guess what matters is that I keep going.

I write this blog too for myself, and for people who want to see how rising from bottom

to the top sounds like. I'm not saying I will be a legend among the artists or something

like that. But lets say I want to finish a much bigger project and I don't really care

much of what will come after.

I write this before, but I think what I want to do in this life.

Is to make my best projects and bring motivation to people

like me.

Regardless of all the ordeals and the ambush ahead. I don't really care about the money,

fame and etc. Even if it does look cool to be the new popular guy in the club and what else.

I feel like my work is about making my mark in the story worlds of narrative.

Even if I know I do have some flaws and etc.

I still try to progress, learn from my falls and stand back up.

That's all I got to explain here.

March seems promising for me.

See ya.

Wishing everyone a wonderful tuesday!

Just a side topic. But I do enjoy meditation.

My technique I use is the old traditional breathing and trying to unwind the mind

by focusing solely on my breath. I used to be a monk back like 10 years actually.

I never followed the whole rules of this though. It was more of a search for

experiences that are healthy to do in those old years of mine.

Going to that sanctuary and vowing to remain silent for 10 days in a row was quite a feat too.

I saw many people quit there on the spot on day 3. Etc..

I did the 10 days like.. 3 times I guess. And no, not back to back. I ain't that kind of crazy that much.

So yeah, I have a monk part in myself. Maybe that's why I am a lay back dude in the spirit.

And a little lazy.

Anyway, so I just meditate like 15 minutes per day.

It's pretty helpful for me. Being relaxed and less

stressed about random events in life makes it

good for me.

Also having a level head is good for hard decision thinking and etc.

Plus I'm training to have a future warrior body.

So better do the mind first. It's actually easier and less hard.

You know the saying.

"Saner heads prevail!"

Alright, just my thoughs on my life and take care.

Will post something if this week maybe.

I write on paper some more game ideas, and I added like many side ideas.

One boss seem really a big deal to figure out. But I love the scary backstory

I made of it.

Bye bye!

I decided to go for training for the rest of this month.

I'm a bit in a productive fatigue.

So far I made like 15% of what I planned. Like the main idea and a little bit of prepping.

Still I think I might re-work few things here and there.

I though about making a team for my project, but I feel maybe it's better if I do all the work myself.

But I must go on and keep doing my job.

My ideas are storming my dreams at night too.