It is late night, we freshly went back from war..

We go all in a bar, music playing hard. Voices coming from everywhere..

We are drinking the victory, and the loss of those who didn't make it home.

I am the guy sitting at the corner, with my own reasons.

Silent.. Not saying a damn word.

My friends wanted me to join in their group..

But I didn't feel to do such thing.

Didn't wanted to kill the mood of our

celebrations..

It happened too fast.. The war.

8 years in.

I remember me and my big brother enjoyed those time together.

Training, doing hundreds and hundreds of push-ups..

Waking up early in the morning to run in the field.

The sun rising, the birds flying..

We did all this for our country.

But when the moment we reached to the battlefield.

It was another story.. Something from a nightmare.

The enemy was using a machine gun and cut few of our comrads in half.

Body parts laying on the dirt.. Explosions.. Blood. Death..

My brother told me he wanted to get rid of that machine gun.

I said he shouldn't.. But he didn't cared much of my words..

Told me to cover him with some rocket and frag grenades.

And.. I did. I throwed a frag in the gunner direction.

Then while the man get out there to save his life, my brother run to it.

Take control of it and shoot the rest of the enemies..

Turning them into pieces, arms, legs falling aparts.

But when I noticed a sniper from the distance.

I tried to warn him..

Then the loud sharp gun shot hit my brother, and he felt down.

I run to his direction..

The troops follow me, but I stop to hold my brother in my arms.

He tell me. "I love you brother."

And I tell him. "Me too.. Me too.."

I will never forget what happened in the war..

My flashback stopped.

Almost everyone in the bar went home after 2 AM.

I was one of the only left here..

Barman ask me. "It's running late, want one more?"

I look at him and said. "Another glass mate."

At my words, a blonde woman enter the bar.

The barman bring my glass of brandy.

I drink it and glance at her.

She walk in and sit next to me.

I take a moment to not look at her.

And then check at her side.

She give me a glance and smirk.

I say hey, and we start talking a bit.

Her name was Diana.

We talk until the bar is closing, she ask me if I want to

go in her place.. I accepted.

20 years from now, we are still married and had 4 children.

I moved on from my past..

I am happy now.

-The End-

The DnD session was cancelled yesterday.

And.. I am disappointed.

So I did other things, downloaded babel app and will learn new languages.

Working on the games I started. Need like 30 bucks to rebuy a sub

from construct 3. Will return to my stuff soon, and working on maybe

becoming a bartender..

Yeah, many stuff going on.

later.

Started to play DnD with a group of adults.

I play the rogue of the party. Might be essencially the brain of the team.

I'm an Arcane Trickster rogue and

picked minor illusion and booming blade.

I have mage hand too.. Did few tricks with

that.

I appeared in mid game, at session 4 basically and never missed any right now.

We saved a princess along with many villagers from a certain death in the prison they were held.

Killed like 10 guards..

I have 3 magic spells too, disguise self,

Magic armor and magic shield.

To be honest. I will pick Spell sleep instead of magic armor. I have high Constitution.

Plus shield isn't much my thing.

Someone in the team have it too..

Yeah, I still try to figure my playstyle.

Anyway, I might be Chaotic Neutral.

But I am not some murderhobo

like the rest of the team..

I tend to think beforehand.

Jade, the fists of the team.

Seem to not think like I do.

She tries to punch anyone in the face.

When we have no reasons to do so

and yeah.. Its kinda problematic.

Our ranger, Zak. He kinda love to show

off and always get his butt kicked.

Like he never used his bow once.

On the otherhand. Noah is a good mage.

I told him to use darkness to distract the guards and we both seem to get along.

So far, we manage to almost escape

from the prison. Tomorrow is the next

session.

I can't wait to get out of the prison and

buy stuff with the gold coins I have.

The story is based off The legend of Dragoon by the way. An old game I played.

The DM told me to not tell anyone about

what I know..

Ahah. And so I never did.

So far I really enjoy my mondays.

We often eat noodles and drink

coffee.

Anyway, I will tell how it goes next time.

I started to train for about 3 weeks now.

My basic workout is to walk 10 hours each week, so far I succeed for every week.

At first I was weak, and could stand up the next day.

Then, now it just feel a little numb in my legs.

After I feel like my legs are stronger, I'll head to the gym

or just buy dumbells.

I should begin with the push-ups soon.

The main goal is to lose 30 kg.

Yeah, I am a bit overweight right now.

I don't really want abs, but if I get some.

Won't really complain.

After 2 or 3 months. I will start a boxing training shortly after.

Maybe swimming too, I heard swimming in cold water can make you lose weight pretty fast.

Anyway, but for now I will focus on the basic and get in the preparation for the true training.

I am focusing on restarting on writing stories. Need to work my brain and get myself

some experiences. I don't plan to wrote a novel or anything.

Just want to rekindle my flame.. Yeah, because it need to.

My long term projects are not canned by the way. I just don't like to force things

and ruin stuff.

I am kinda sick of the attention it gives.

Want to pursuit something more.. Honorable if I may say.

Of course I am not gonna shy away from the fact sex is a part of life.

But it isn't my dream to focus on that stuff.

And yeah, I might create sex scenes or sexy stuff in the future.

But overall, it ain't my fucking concern to continue on that road.

Sex might sell, but it won't get my soul..

If I put it on that poetic note.

Anyway, more news later when I feel like it.

Hey,

Just saying that I plan to get back to my projects. Took some time to post anything.

I got busy in life.. Will move out of my town in maybe 2 or 3 months.

Wasn't feeling good to stay home and work all week on it..

Kinda took more time than necessary for myself. But, I feel better now.

Hope you all aren't mad of my little hiatus.

Alright, will post eventually when it's ready.

later.

I am recently losing my force drive to continue any project.

It's not that I want to quit, but I feel like I need to study or get some work done in short time.

Yet, I feel nothing..

Dunno how to explain this otherwise.

Will updates my projects, get it done eventually..

It's just hard to fix bugs in the game development, write the story and do 90 % of the work yourself..

-Habit of the lonely-

I am lost in the world, where many people are here..

But I go alone.. Living like a shadow, a memory from the past we throw

away in the corner and completely forgot.

Apart from hope, torn in two inside by the habit of being lonely

while nobody come to save me.

I fight to live, but with what purpose?

What is the way to go on like this..

I am a ghost.. Yet I am real.. With a will of my own.

I pretend its normal, that I have no friends and a reason to keep my

fate bright.

I contemplate my life, by closing the door of all the opportunities.

Locking it and sitting in my bed to figure what makes me happy

or sad.

With all that emotions that I piece together like a puzzle..

I try my best to make my life complete again.. Without

some parts that are missing evidentely.

I feel the pain, but yet I hold it in me.

Like a fire that consume me within..

I may be alone.. But I am not gone.

Tomorrow is another day, I must fight my way to stay alive.

Even if I feel tortured in my soul, I know its just temporary.

I must clear my mind, get back to where it all begins and end

the struggle of being out of touch with reality.

And so, I return from my present time.

Restarted my mindset, and felt light.

Understanding I am here for me, at least.

That life is better then being dead..

I am grateful for this existence til my last breath.

-The End-

I got busy for like a good amount of time.

It wasn't planned that way, but I think I will

have to move out.

Also I am healthy and started to work out.

Right now I took some time to figure what I want to implement

in the game. Like the mechanics, puzzles and so on.

Story is complicated to settle with too.

Might take some weeks for me to adjust.

I didn't updated the beta test.. And that's really frustrating.

Anyway, I will do some work on it.