Just want to post this here.

I want to write down that I am grateful to be alive and that I met so many people.

Over my childhood and my adult life.

I learned so much and still got some room to improve on.

I hope everyone is doing great.

Want to post some good arts soon.

Have a good one.

When I was a kid.

I punched a pedophile in the balls.

I will always love myself for what I did that day!

Recently I got rid of my comfort zone.

Decided to try things in whole new perspective and dump my old habits.

Like complaining about shit that doesn't matter. At least to me. Things I know I have nothimg to dealt with, or have definitely zero power over it. So why focusing on so much useless stuff?

That's how I question myself everyday now. The "What do I get from this?" Is now a life savior question, because it makes me get the answer rapidly.

When I do training in the morning.

Because yes now I have a schedul in the morning btw. I feel good.

For the only reason I need to work hard, and gain experience over all.

I don't care anymore about the main results. I only strategically focus on learning everything.

You know in math. We are referred to focus on the solution over the results.

The "What will fix it" kind of thing.

I read many book from the library too, I don't pay for any knowledge. Since true knowledge is free. The education system is a scam to make you go in debt. And give money to the people we don't even know about.

Anyways, I keep learning. Getting stronger, more in shape.

I don't want to be pretensious. But I feel like a warrior that is at his starting road.

I'm not the biggest guy, but I feel like I can be a great legend. At least in my mind.

I am fighting for something.

For me, for my dreams and

want to earn the merit to stand

for myself.

No one can or will do that for me.

That's all I got to write now.

Thank you.

It felt good to hug my sister after not seeing her for like a year and six months.

My nephew is now walking. That kid is going to become an athlete, I swear I was really happy to see my family out there.

Met my sister's new boyfriend.

And babysitted the kids to allow

the two to have a break from

parenthood.

I plan to move out from my town and join

the rest of my family. Kinda tired to be alone.

I am working on getting a part time job and learn few lessons in many aspect of work life.

Like being good with mechanics, cars in occurance. Lessons in being a security guard, get a license and many things.

I need to be legit in so many ways, life is hard if you have no papers that certified your talents.

Anyway, that's what I am working on right now. I might start to work in Mc Donald for a while. Not my main career tho.

I though of this for a while.

Kinda want to be a graff artist now.

Might train until I get my own style

and know the basic.

Will make a black book of my own work and find my options in the making.

Will update soon.

To put this in context, I am writing this to make sure one day I read this in the future and stop over-analysing.

Because I feel like overthinking is not healthy and since there is nothing really to stress about.

I can make sure to keep my goal in perspective. Even if life make me struggle.

I rather stay real and bite the dust when I lost and feel victorious want the efforts was well put together to reach that achievement.

Ever since I start drawing and writing stories. I felt like it was meant to be for me. With or without anyone to push me to go on. I know its hard to become well known for your accomplishments and so on.

And sometimes even the greatest writers and artists get shits in their lives.

I am no different.

Because that's the weight humans have to carrry along to be good in their choices.

Or sometimes some just lost faith in humanity over everything and just think they are the center of the universe.

Which I highly doubt my life will ever be in the history books and so on.

So is life.

We live, we do things and we die.

This is not a way to give up for me, but rather to remind myself that I have little time to live and do things.

That playing video games and doing shit time wasters is not the right way to use my life time.

I know I am not the perfect definition of an human being, and I sincerely don't give a fuck.

But I still got a life, and there is hundreds of choices I can make to be in much better position in my life.

Over the past, I drifted in the void of doing absolutely nothing to change. Got in trouble for making reckless decisions, and even skipped my education to be just a guy that live on paycheck to paycheck.

In many jobs that won't even recognize me, but just count me as a number. That is 99% possible replaceable.

What I want, in my life as guy who have projects going and who try to make them real.

Is to at least make something that I am proud of. That if I ever get the chance to be a true father, that my kids see what I did in my works.

Not just some random shit that doesn't make sense. But rather some stuff I worked over the last 10 or plus years.

Because what I show on my arts and writing. Is just the tip of the iceberg.

I got like thousands of ideas that never come to day.

Many that are made for everyone and not just for mature people and adults.

I just don't want to die thinking that I didn't succeed at doing something that I was born with.

Because I tried in the past to just do a job that give big money, but I was not happy about.

And seriously it will sucks if I don't make myself a true artist or author.

Plus I know I could have a fine way to make music too. I could be a composer if I put myself into that too as well.

I am just not rich and poorly equipped.

But I don't give a damn about that now.

All I care is that my efforts need to be accomplished.

I have to finish my stuff.

That's all I have to write about now.

I might be not professional and etc.

And might show some vulnerability.

But at least I am real and not trying to look like someone who think who know it all.

I accept myself that way.

That's all my wisdom I can share

for the present time.

I hope I'll do what I always dreamed about for so long. Which is to make a full lenght animation movie like The Iron Giant, Batman The Mask of Phantasm and many more movies of those kind just like back in the 90s.

I am so sick to pretend to be an average joe who do nothing for his sake.

All I need is to push myself to keep moving forward, and I have to stop laying on the ground and complain about every little mistakes that have no value over this dream.

I have enough of just carrying my ego and regrets.

Alright, thanks anyone.

Bye.

So, since I am born canadian and have like

an art college in Ontario or even Toronto.

I think I might just move there.

Need to save up cash and stuff.

But what could I lost?

I tried to learn animation on my own

and it doesn't work much.

Go figure, maybe I just need to go get my high school diplome and then reach the top of the ladder.

Its not like I am going to finish this in 6 months or a year. But at least I got to do something in the academic part of my life.

I can't stay stagnant as a drop out.

Plus I feel like I am wasting my potential over nothing.

I only wish I was in a private high school back then, because public school aren't really a nice place for smart people.

Ah, anyway. I just have to save enough money and move out.

My goal is to become an animator

afterall.

I don't think there is a easy way to reach a high skill level.

Beside learning the basic with a teacher that knows everything.

And yeah, I used to think I could be a landscaping architech or etc..

The truth is I am limited with my time.

And I choose passion over money.

Which is pretty much a big desl,but none the less. I need cash to achieve my purpose in life.

I don't know how long it might take me.

Hope to make something animated

soon.

4 years ago I used to weight 230 lbs.

Now I weight 265 lbs, but I was 290 lbs

like 3 months ago.

I am very happy to be more and more heathier. And its not a dramatic drop either way.

Since I know if you loss weight too much fast, its a bad sign. Like you could have cancer or anything like a parasite etc.

But I am going further more to my normal weight.

I am trying to understand why I got De-scouted.

And if there is a way to fix or at least learn from my mistakes?

I cannot become better if I am not aware of what I did wrong.

So, message me in private if you are an art moderator or even @TomFulp

That's all I have to say.

Recently I am starting to not be creative.

Plus I need to find a new job.

So I will be busy to look for some

work and maybe go in demolition.

I will try to be consistant with my patreon

tho. Don't want to forget that some people might be pissed if I don't add new stuff.