Summer is over.

And I was busy, made couple of personal choices.

Did some work on myself. Getting healthier, talk to some lady and starting a relationship.. Slowly.

I will move out soon from the family and go alone in this life.

My self esteem is pretty decent, even though I feel like my time is coming for changes.

I love my family, and I don't really want to leave my mother alone. Since she got problems with her car and financially

isn't stable yet.

But on the other side of that, I am alright. I think if I go alone in this life, I will learn more stuff.

Maybe get somewhere I never though before.

I need to learn the guitar again, train and get in shape.

Get a better job.

I am close to be 30 years old.. Time is really changing for me.

My mind is clear and ready to move out.

I just know I cannot take more responsibility for my mom. Even if its make me sad.

My help was temporary, but necessary for her.

I am glad that I was here for her.

So, after I move. I am gonna work hard and make money to create a game for newgrounds.

Finish the story of The detective Diary too.

My projects are important for me. But real life is more crucial than anything.

Sorry if I didn't made it through the end of summer to finish everything.

I hope people can understand that I am alone in these projects, my life change a lot and I try to get a girlfriend while

I am still young.

I want to be a father, and be responsible.

But I also want to make great things, since I got some ideas.

I was 7 years old when I started writing stories, so I really have this in the soul of me.

If there was only one thing I could wish, is to have true friends who share the same ideas than me.

So we could made this even faster in the process.

Hope to make everything realised through all this time.

It's all I have to write here for now.

Thank you for your time.

Later~

What is a kingdom?

A place to feel safe and happy. Some space you can rely on getting rest, in peace and without a doubt..

Sleep with no worries.

Or it is where the king of a realm can rule the totality of it all.

But what if there was a down side of this?

Long before the dawn of time, the gods have created the reality of multiple universe and made our world.

Not every soul on this earth can imagine what this mean.

Since there is fools who believe nothing is special about the spiritual realm.

That it is all a dream..

The thing that won't change overall is the death that is inevitable for everyone.

The dead doesn't speak much, but it is a real message to the foolish.

On this planet and beyond that.

The void of the obscure is far from being clarified from the human mind.

Any second matter when you are aware of your mortality.

But..

What really make this clear to anyone?

The devil is hidden in everyone, in their own ignorance.

What we don't know is what make us do things evil.

From doing nothing, at all. To doing unimaginable things on this life.

The devil loves to hurt more than anything.

That's why the idea of lack of knowledge is important for evil.

It is the seed of the madness.

Where the chaos can go wild and torment the innocent.

A place that we don't call home.

But we call hell.

Prison of the constant present time.

In our own mind.

A space of pure horror from our consciousness.

But fear not, the light as not been stolen yet.

There is still hope in this earth.

Humans aren't all ignorants.

The perfect opportunity will come to change the situation.

And the earth shall keep the cycle of life.

Like a true color of our land shall show itself.

Justice will prevail against all odds.

And may lady luck smile upon us all.

The end.

Hey, hope you all are happy with this summer ending.

I took a break and didn't post anything since like 2 weeks.

My life was kinda busy, not to go too far in the details. I got sick and still trying to recover.

But it's nothing serious.

I am not interested to quit Newgrounds, it's too good in here and I really like the freedom TomFulp created

in here. My priorities are changing, I try to get in shape and read a lot.

I want to stay sharp and collected while I work on my projects.

Even if I am sick right now.

I will go back in the gym soon after I get better.

The Detective Diary is on a break, but I am preparing for the next entries.

Don't want to mess this story, it's really getting somewhere.

Guess that's it for now, thanks for everyone who like and support my work.

Have a good time and lets keep in touch.

See y'all

Poem: Rainbow after storm.

I desire to love her more than myself, to gift her my heart and share a part of my time with her.

But love, is an union of two souls that desire one another.

If I go in that path, and fail.. I fear that the pain will be greater than ever.

So I fear to accept my feelings for her, not because I am a coward.

But because I know that loving someone who hurt you is wrong.

It's like giving the keys to your home to a thief and you expect nothing bad will happen.

And I have been robbed before in many ways, so feeling secure is more important than my heart.

My soul is broken for being alone, but yet..

Am I alone really?

Am I the only one to suffer the oppression of the world?

I doubt I am the exception, and I wish she notice me for what I worth really.

She is like a sunshine, and I am the storm..

But like any storm, here comes the thunder.

Like lightning that strike on earth, I tried to talk to her.

But she hides, rather than showing herself to the rain.

If I was different, maybe she would care..

Maybe she would look at me a different way than this.

So I become a rainbow, and than she see me differently. Without fear.

But was she really the one for me?

Does women prefer rainbow than a storm?

I guess I can't know the answer yet.

Poem: Saving the existence of me.

I am not the one who can save anyone, but I wish I was.

I sworn to protect those I love, with no fear in my heart.

This fire is burning inside of me, telling me how much I hate what I had done.

When I have failed you and made you cry.

And when I have lost you through time..

There is no escape from this mistake..

It is more than I can take..

I wish you were fine and I still swallow my feelings to this day..

Hating that moment that stay in my mind..

Which hurts my soul to the core and torment me like ghosts that haunts me.

I find no line between pain and going in vain.

I feel ashame to be alive, and want to end this cycle of suffering.

But cannot accept the whole thing yet.

Do I matter at all? Or does the wind follow the course of life?

Should I do the same and forget who I was to the beginning?

And run free into this world?

Or let the dark consume me til I am none..

And disappear into the void..

I suffocate in this way of thinking..

It makes me realise how much I am more than enough.

That I am the one to save from all of this.

Even if I know I will be one person and only myself.

At least, my life matter to me now.

And no one shall say otherwise.

So, lately I have been busy.

I try to go back to school and learn stuff. I really want to be accepted at the school because I need my HS degree so

then I can go to college and learn programming. Yeah, have to wait for 2-3 weeks and then if I am back in studying

I will be very occupied.

I dropped out of HS back when I was 16 years old, and I feel the necessity to return and get my diploma.

It will take me awhile to make content in here. But I do not want to go on hiatus.

Still when to make games and stories.

When I get the diploma and the college degree.

Things will change, and I will be proud of myself.

I really have the ambition to turn into a decent programmer and focus on making games.

And I dream to become a game developper since my childhood.

I have thousands of ideas that need to be finished.

Don't want that to die with me when I am gone.

I just hope to be accepted in school and get good grades.

So that's about it. See ya NG

Here is a question that came to me while I was in deep reflection.

Do we matter or does the world matter more?

My answer is, both matter.

We as humans need to accept our lives, and need a planet to live on.

So it is essencial to agree on both matters.

Because if we do not, we will die.

Like that, if I decide that I don't matter anymore. It will be the end of me.

And if the world doesn't matter to me, I sure will die because of that sense of thinking.

So over all, life and death are what made us understand the universe.

We are the only creatures on earth who have capability to craft and destroy.

That inclued ourself..

We can craft our lives, or we can destroy it all..

It is a little scary when I think about it, because the human race is what the planet earth made..

We lived long enough to become the real thing that can change the current time.

But the question is now, what will happen later?

My idea is that the human race will eventually stop doing wrong little by little.

But this is just a theory.

Anyway, that was it about my philosophy.

My story is good, but I realise that I am bad at english..

And I make mistakes in one entry which doesn't follow the chronollogy..

I am so sorry..

Anyway, beside that I do my best to write everything that seem good.

I keep writing the Detective's Diary.

My only problem is now that I know the story will have many side stories and that will ask me to be

very accurate in it. But, that won't be much a big concern.

I try to avoid getting too dark.

One of the entries was so obscure that I was afraid to wrote it down.

But I did it anyway. Kinda happy that it didn't last long.

Other than that, I think the story is pretty good.

I will explore more themes in this plot soon.

But not yet.

Need to add more characters too, with real flesh out backstories.

I am stuck at the end of the last entry of The Detective's Diary.

I know what the future is going to be in it, but I lack the logical situations.

The dialogue and everything..

I know the ending thought.

It's gonna take awhile to get there..

But the true ending is gonna be really interesting.

Can't wait for it!