Well, first of. I think starting back like four years ago with only this chromebook

and drawing with a freaking mouse seem impressive.. Yet also painful.

I upgraded my knowledge and even become less limited in creativity. which is

what I aim for ever since I started out. Though right now, I seem to lack consistency

and go a little too farfetch in my visionary projects..

Well, failing isn't a big deal for me anymore..

Although, I think people might judge me as a unreliable

person for now, at least.. Can't really do much better after so many attempts to break

through. And I tried to give up too.

But my brain loves making arts and ideas. Experimenting with like, the muse in mind, the visionary

sight I have when I pass in the large scale of possibilities and so on..

Or the message I want to put in some artwork.

My quality sometimes is top notch, or just less than expected.

For now I try to learn how to make flowers, or other things sometimes.

Used to make like OCs for fun. Just to stick out of the loop of nameless

characters or to not get involved on a major big project.

I sorta went on an escapisism phase for a while, and now I'm just realising

what it's looks like.

To be honest, I feel like I made good efforts. Did some great stuff last years

and even begin to feel confident in being reliable to others. Sometimes.

I'm not an expect or a professional guy. I don't think I will ever be that type

of person who just don't talk and just work. Then ignore everyone like

if they never mattered to begin with.

Maybe I'm just human, and allow myself to be vunerable. Even with the risks and

what not. I guess I'm not the guy who likes to be silent completely like any

popular NG users out there.

Oh, and I don't really care of being popular anyway.

Never was my main focus when I started this on day one.

I believe I just wanted to feel connected in someway

with other people like me.

People who are just unique, being themselve and even with the dilemma

of maybe being reject or not. I decided to give myself a chance.

Letting everyone treats me like they treat themselves.

I guess that's how I deal with everything.

So yeah, I did good things the past few years.

And failed too.

I'm not a failure neither a fully remarkable artist yet.

Just a normal guy who thinks he can make a thing

or two out there.

With even my visionary personality

which dreams to go beyond what is my

own limits..

I think I might succeed.

If I stop stopping at it.

Or just maybe get help

from friends who want

the same outcome as I do.

It simple as that for me.

Good night everyone,

and I wish you all the best.

Thank you.

I went back in Construct 3.

Since all my already made progress was deleted in the corruption of my files on my chromebook..

I just feel the dread I once got through 2 years ago.

Starting with nothing really is painful and the idea to draw every frame to make 1 character

perfectly moveable. With idle animation, not taking pre-made shit from google and trying to stay

original through the whole progress..

With what I made so far in the past, and knowing all the prepping was put in the trash for good.

It's depressing. I just can't stand that feeling in my mind and guts.

Literally a forced "Starting from scratch" for me.

I guess maybe doing something cheap and easy to make would be good for now.

Which wasn't my plan 2 months ago and the last 2 years..

Just venting my frustration on this post to keep me sane in here, but anyway.

Later. Hope to upgrade to a much better computer and finally get some pay off.

ZG out.

So, call me crazy. But for the past 5 weeks..

I keep hearing a piano song in my dreams and even while I am awake.

It's a great ethereal song, mystical with a constant pull to make me create it and funny enough

I never learned piano..

Maybe I should do that.

I removed my commission ad.

Just so I can redo it more properly and be sure it's fitting for me and my clients too.

It will be reposted soon. Sorry if you were trying to look for it.

I'm listing everything I might work for this month.

dunno what will come out, but I hope it works.

Maybe a game or a comic or both.

14 February is Valentine's Day.

Wish in advance to everyone who got a lover

or someone close enough to make them their

valentine. Everyone deserve someone in their

life.

Fun fact: I never had a valentine ever, dunno if things may change. But I'm no more trying.

So, I keep myself silent over this one.

The landlord tried 2 more times to lawsuit us

for the exact same problem he himself didn't want to

fix in our apartment..

That is third and definitive time by the way. I hope..

Spoiler alert, we won! Three in a row baby!

What a fucking moron.

I swear it all started because HE didn't want to fix the freaking walls, the bathroom

and the air conditioners that doesn't work since we entered in this place 4

years ago. Blaming us for the troubles that other former occupants complained

many times over the last decade.

He even dared to remove the reports after we told him the truth, by someone

he paid to get rid of it.. That's illegal, but after we warned the high up.

The reports was found a year later.

Whatever, we won.

And now he, by the law. Must pay the fixing and he cannot do it himself too.

Since it's not legal to do so, yep. That fucker just find out that being obstinated to not

take responsability over his own property will have consequences in right due time.

Anyway, so we will just get 500$ from that 3 years long bullshit and the apartment will become

more acceptable to live in. Since the rent is dirt cheap compared to the +1200$ around

in our town. We pay 750$ and 300$ more for the water and electricity.

I just hope the walls get fixed and we don't have to deal with the water infiltration.

Because it is a pain to avoid furnitures getting destroyed by it and then

it start to rot. With spores and all the shit I have dealt with last year.

Victory is ours.

So far, I have done alot lately on paper, thanks to my chromebook deleting my files.

I re-write my stuffs based on pure memory and I'm able to work with it.

Drawed once more on paper after so long.

It's surprising how I still can do it without struggle. I though working on

computer would have diminished my former skills on.. lets say stone age

tools. I know it's not that old but in this era, pen and paper isn't the way

to show your work online.

(Professionally speaking, I still think its very good to do so. Physical arts are better shown in art gallery

and all that. But online you need proper gear of course.)

Anyway, everything works.

But I won't be able to show off the paper work since my phone is broken

and I cannot buy another one yet. I will save up money for new stuff

and since I'm part-timer after the holidays.

Can't really do bigger things now, bills are a priority and I will just buy another

Construct 3 subscription to practice yet again to make a game.

My Armed slime files are fully deleted, and the prototype of Armed slime 2 is gone as well.

I will just redo everything from scratch and memory I guess.

I will drae stuff on my chromebook just to be able to post something, the quality might

take time to get back to it. Since I usually work on many at once and wait until I

can post one after the other. So I get a consistant rate of uploading.

But now it's no more the case, because I have none of my work done yet..

Alright, just posting this blog page for the sake of moving on.

Also I think about making my own job or company. I'm sick of working for someone who always

seem to see me as a replaceable number and not being so important.

I just want to be my own self man at this point.

Don't think I want to be a billionaire, but just being able to substain

myself with my own efforts and having no one to judge my work

all day long.

Seems fair and square.

take care everyone.

I'll maybe do either a game or something interesting in comic stuff.

Related to Valentine's Day. I'm taking saved cash for that. Since

I'm a part-timer. I think I want to return to study and go for

computer science to learn programming.

For the game I might try to use construct 3 and do a puzzle like game.

The comic might be for adults or mature audience.

I will take time to relax for now and try to recover some confidence after

the files getting deleted by my stupid chromebook.

I kinda want to buy a real good computer and maybe blow up the chromebook

with fireworks or etc. In a very far place with no forest around of course.

I just want to satisfy my rage.. lol

Anyway, I am feeling good even with

the lost of my files and whatever.

Also, I play Skyrim on my old PS3 that I dusted off from my stuff.

Still working fine and I'm using glitches to become a billionaire

in skyrim. At least I can feel good after all this bullshit.

Since my Chromebook deleted all my files that have 2 years and 6 months worth of progress.

I will set myself a new goal February and just take it easy.

I'm still mad at the reality that my chromebook got corrupted

because of a faulty recharge cable and it cannot set itself in

sleep mode.. Somehow and lost all the battery while I was asleep.

That's why it powerwashed itself it seems, unless someone hacked

me while I was listening ocean waves on youtube that night

with my chromebook on. But I doubt that's the case.

Anyway, I'm alive. So I rather take less focus for the past day's event and

just do something easier. I think I'll do a video game or just write

something on my blog or even do a 1 shot story on my profile page in text.

I am really frustrated to see my projects gone without a trace..

Some was finished and others were just thrown ideas for

later after I'm breaking through. I even planned a big game

to work in secret with a check list and the summary of

the plot that I don't even remember right now.

I wrote it in june.. The reason I left it there is because I don't have

the gear to make it right now or the ressources.

Guess I will just set for less quality content for the time being.. Fuck.

Also I may use a pen and paper to write shit on from now on

and also buy some USB keys to save up stuff with that in mind.

I need to not care about my whole fucking work being lost.

It's just piss me off. But I still think I got experience even

with that sad result.

I will relax and cool off for maybe few days.

I am literally angry right now. My chromebook literally powerwashed my files

and I lost all my writing scenarios, scripts, and ideas that I saved up on my chromebook.

Sincerely, thank you Google.

I am done for this month. I'm so fucking done. Everything is fucking gone!

I got no more drawings, all my art files.. Documents that I kept for myself for later. Gone.

This is horridious.. I just can't believe all my work is deleted. I'm fucking sad!!

Man what the fuck is wrong with this piece of junk!

I need a break.

Bye.