It felt good to hug my sister after not seeing her for like a year and six months.

My nephew is now walking. That kid is going to become an athlete, I swear I was really happy to see my family out there.

Met my sister's new boyfriend.

And babysitted the kids to allow

the two to have a break from

parenthood.

I plan to move out from my town and join

the rest of my family. Kinda tired to be alone.

I am working on getting a part time job and learn few lessons in many aspect of work life.

Like being good with mechanics, cars in occurance. Lessons in being a security guard, get a license and many things.

I need to be legit in so many ways, life is hard if you have no papers that certified your talents.

Anyway, that's what I am working on right now. I might start to work in Mc Donald for a while. Not my main career tho.

I though of this for a while.

Kinda want to be a graff artist now.

Might train until I get my own style

and know the basic.

Will make a black book of my own work and find my options in the making.

Will update soon.

To put this in context, I am writing this to make sure one day I read this in the future and stop over-analysing.

Because I feel like overthinking is not healthy and since there is nothing really to stress about.

I can make sure to keep my goal in perspective. Even if life make me struggle.

I rather stay real and bite the dust when I lost and feel victorious want the efforts was well put together to reach that achievement.

Ever since I start drawing and writing stories. I felt like it was meant to be for me. With or without anyone to push me to go on. I know its hard to become well known for your accomplishments and so on.

And sometimes even the greatest writers and artists get shits in their lives.

I am no different.

Because that's the weight humans have to carrry along to be good in their choices.

Or sometimes some just lost faith in humanity over everything and just think they are the center of the universe.

Which I highly doubt my life will ever be in the history books and so on.

So is life.

We live, we do things and we die.

This is not a way to give up for me, but rather to remind myself that I have little time to live and do things.

That playing video games and doing shit time wasters is not the right way to use my life time.

I know I am not the perfect definition of an human being, and I sincerely don't give a fuck.

But I still got a life, and there is hundreds of choices I can make to be in much better position in my life.

Over the past, I drifted in the void of doing absolutely nothing to change. Got in trouble for making reckless decisions, and even skipped my education to be just a guy that live on paycheck to paycheck.

In many jobs that won't even recognize me, but just count me as a number. That is 99% possible replaceable.

What I want, in my life as guy who have projects going and who try to make them real.

Is to at least make something that I am proud of. That if I ever get the chance to be a true father, that my kids see what I did in my works.

Not just some random shit that doesn't make sense. But rather some stuff I worked over the last 10 or plus years.

Because what I show on my arts and writing. Is just the tip of the iceberg.

I got like thousands of ideas that never come to day.

Many that are made for everyone and not just for mature people and adults.

I just don't want to die thinking that I didn't succeed at doing something that I was born with.

Because I tried in the past to just do a job that give big money, but I was not happy about.

And seriously it will sucks if I don't make myself a true artist or author.

Plus I know I could have a fine way to make music too. I could be a composer if I put myself into that too as well.

I am just not rich and poorly equipped.

But I don't give a damn about that now.

All I care is that my efforts need to be accomplished.

I have to finish my stuff.

That's all I have to write about now.

I might be not professional and etc.

And might show some vulnerability.

But at least I am real and not trying to look like someone who think who know it all.

I accept myself that way.

That's all my wisdom I can share

for the present time.

I hope I'll do what I always dreamed about for so long. Which is to make a full lenght animation movie like The Iron Giant, Batman The Mask of Phantasm and many more movies of those kind just like back in the 90s.

I am so sick to pretend to be an average joe who do nothing for his sake.

All I need is to push myself to keep moving forward, and I have to stop laying on the ground and complain about every little mistakes that have no value over this dream.

I have enough of just carrying my ego and regrets.

Alright, thanks anyone.

Bye.

So, since I am born canadian and have like

an art college in Ontario or even Toronto.

I think I might just move there.

Need to save up cash and stuff.

But what could I lost?

I tried to learn animation on my own

and it doesn't work much.

Go figure, maybe I just need to go get my high school diplome and then reach the top of the ladder.

Its not like I am going to finish this in 6 months or a year. But at least I got to do something in the academic part of my life.

I can't stay stagnant as a drop out.

Plus I feel like I am wasting my potential over nothing.

I only wish I was in a private high school back then, because public school aren't really a nice place for smart people.

Ah, anyway. I just have to save enough money and move out.

My goal is to become an animator

afterall.

I don't think there is a easy way to reach a high skill level.

Beside learning the basic with a teacher that knows everything.

And yeah, I used to think I could be a landscaping architech or etc..

The truth is I am limited with my time.

And I choose passion over money.

Which is pretty much a big desl,but none the less. I need cash to achieve my purpose in life.

I don't know how long it might take me.

Hope to make something animated

soon.

4 years ago I used to weight 230 lbs.

Now I weight 265 lbs, but I was 290 lbs

like 3 months ago.

I am very happy to be more and more heathier. And its not a dramatic drop either way.

Since I know if you loss weight too much fast, its a bad sign. Like you could have cancer or anything like a parasite etc.

But I am going further more to my normal weight.

I am trying to understand why I got De-scouted.

And if there is a way to fix or at least learn from my mistakes?

I cannot become better if I am not aware of what I did wrong.

So, message me in private if you are an art moderator or even @TomFulp

That's all I have to say.

Recently I am starting to not be creative.

Plus I need to find a new job.

So I will be busy to look for some

work and maybe go in demolition.

I will try to be consistant with my patreon

tho. Don't want to forget that some people might be pissed if I don't add new stuff.

Good morning.

Honestly its hard for me to be transparent over everything.

Even in here. But on the long run I feel less and less

stressed of the endless possibilities of going all out

in the art world.

Thank god newgrounds is not like youtube or twitter

and the likes of facebook.

Because I am really not happy with the rest of the internet.

Even reddit is crappy and batshit insane.

But here. I feel like I can let go. And be a real adult.

Be creative and open for change.

This is one of the last website for me that have a connection

to my childhood and that is accepting freedom of expression

through art and more ways.

So, it is still hard to get the gist of it.

Cuz, I am still cautious of the controversy things even if I don't have to

pretty much. Also I try to reach people out often in newgrounds.

Just to be social and open for new kinds of ideas.

I know, most popular creators ignore the forums and

say nothing to the majority.

But I am not popular, and to be honest.

I am personally happy to be an underground Artist.

That is kinda a great thing, because I can experiment

with my artstyle, make mistakes and try different

ways without people judging me everytime.

It is a breeze for me, but on the long run..

Yes, it's getting lonely doing shit all by yourself.

You can't get everything you want in life.

So, I actually try to be happy over all.

Ah, whatever.

The thing I am learning through this summer is the freedom

to experiment on many aspect of art and learn animation.

I also do my best to know anatomy properly and try to be less

excessive on exaggerating the stuff I do.

My big projects are still in the work, and seriously.

I wish they were done already.

So I wouldn't be all talk and no action.

Yet I am here and babbling about it..

I just hope I will post something worthy to my eyes.

Don't really care much about the people judgement

but still will respect the guideline as I do always.

I learned alot throught the short time I really was

creating on newgrounds.

Still got plenty of stuff to work with.

I am ambitious, but lack so many things to make it work properly.

Ah, sometimes that's better. Because it shows your true dedication

to your work.

Tiger Woods didn't got the best golf club when he started to play golf.

Yet he turned to be one of the few who stood out.

I don't care about his life choices though, that's another story.

But I am talking about professional skills.

I need to reach higher range in art.

Last year was a starting point into changing my knowledge of art in general.

Now, I am willing to thrive into my knowledge.

I don't care anymore of common consensus and so on.

My ideas need to break the limit of the public imagination,

and so is my vision. I disregard the Framing Effect in occurance.

To accept many point of view on the universe of the art world.

And I need to mark this statement, I rebel against the education system.

I never saw them being open minded on the art world, so I am not into

their dogshit opinions. The only thing they love is money and fame.

For me, my art is created to express something that is made more then

just what meets to the eyes. I want to cause emotions.

I want to make people think. I want to make people care.

I want to make them react to it.

Not just being another art in the pile of amateur artists.

I want my art to outlive me for the fact people will still

accept it as a piece of work with a soul in it.

That's why I want to understand many stuff and keep progressing

in many ways. Maybe for some people it sounds ludicrous.

But I don't care, I am capable to go beyond.

for the only reason that I have nothing to

lose to be honest with art.

I will respect the rules of newgrounds, but

won't shy away from the way to tell a good

story and do art that outshine my past work.

I have many cords on my bow.

And I am just at the start of this.

"On a metaphorical level."

My time to be who I always

felt I was inside is turning

into a blossom.

I still need to keep on moving as an artist.

And I highly doubt I will be able to learn

all the stuff for now.

But if I ever do a big animation set in any rating.

I will be relieved.

Alright enough for now.

I come back from a hot break in the wild.

Got some dudes that gived me some beers while they went fishing near my tent. Didn't took pictures with them because I respect their privacy. We were chill and we laughed together. Then they left before 8PM and I was alone. The only down side of being in the woods near a river, is the fucking mosquitos bites.

There was an army of them! Also I write my shit and got some good ideas for my future projects.

Sleeping with nature was definitely a need for me. Since I was rised near by the forest, and I went in my childhood secret spot to go camping.

Yeah, it was a great moment for me to go back in my home town.

Now I live in a city and it is really not my lifestyle. Returning to mundane modernity and whatever.

But that's ok.

That scene. Specifically with the song of Dead Kennedys Police truck. Man

I never though they would go this hard on that moment.

https://youtu.be/Opg8ralLAhI?si=0oP1Y3KRhdvEwbIx

And the this scene too.

https://youtu.be/OSFvTIKwmBU?si=jkXKobeHS1o5BFc2

Bryan Lee O'Malley knew his shit. I hope season 2 will exist.